Music To Read To: Hate List

I started reading this last night and couldn't stop reading until I reached the end. It wasn't suspenseful or scary but I couldn't stop reading until I wad finished. It's a wonderful story of living with the past and finding redemption. A story of moving on and accepting what cannot be changed. I related to the story in a way I didn't think I would with the plot points involving the parents especially the father. I'm not sure I can really say I loved the book considering the subject matter but you can appreciate anything that can make you think about making life better. There is one quote in the book that really stayed with me:

"The word won being the past tense of win, and we can all say at the end of the day that we've won once again, can't we? Some days making it to the end of the day is quite the victory."

In a world where things are often out of our control making it to my bed is my daily victory. I get to life another day.

I am constantly creating soundtracks for things in my life. It's a geeky thing to do but I can't help it. I'm always thinking of a song that would fit a specific situation. It always happens when I read as well. My mind will immediately think of a song based on the current plot point.

 Here are a few songs that were played while reading Hate List:

Alanis Morrissette - That I Would Be Good

 that I would be loved even when I numb myself
that I would be good even when I am overwhelmed
that I would be loved even when I was fuming
that I would be good even if I was clingy

Deb Talan - Comfort

If you can't remember a better time
you can have mine, little one.
In days to come when your heart feels undone
may you always find an open hand
and take comfort wherever you can.

Evanescense - My Immortal

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

Oasis - Don't Look Back In Anger

So Sally can wait
She knows it's too late as she's walking on by
My soul slides away
"But don't look back in anger, don't look back in anger"
I heard you say, "at least not today" 

Emma Lee - I Could Die Tonight

Truth be told I’m still just scared as hell
that I’ll fool the world and never fool myself
Cause I know living right it isn’t in the lyin’
But I could live with tryin’
I could live with cryin’
I could live with dyin’ tonight

The Smashing Pumpkin - Disarm 

Disarm you with a smile
And leave you like they left me here
To wither in denial
The bitterness of one who's left alone

The Weepies - World Spins Madly On

Woke up and wished that I was dead
With an aching in my head
I lay motionless in bed
I thought of you and where you'd gone
and let the world spin madly on 

Book Review: If I Stay

I just finished this book that in so many ways I hated but in other ways I loved. It's one of those rare books that bore you to death because you are just reading and waiting for something to happen but while your waiting for something exciting to happen it makes you think about life. 

It makes you wonder if we sometimes have a choice in life and death, I mean I know there are some situations where death just happens. I don't think we can survive cancer or aids just by wanting to be alive. But what about other situations. 

Can a gun shot victim survive just because they refuse to let go and walk into the light?

It makes you wonder why some people survive accidents while others die. I don't think it's because the survivors want to live more then the ones that lose the fight. It's properly a hard thing to go through and never an easy decision. Sometimes it's easier to just let go. To go peacefully in the night.

With that said the book was still boring. But I think you could put any person in the story and it wouldn't change. I wasn't interested in the characters life story. Nothing overly exciting happened and that's OK. I doubt my life story would interest anyone. I've had a great life and I love everything that has ever happened to me. I have no regrets. That if a stranger was watching my life story while it flashed before my eyes they would be bored. I wouldn't hold it against them, they have no connection to the memories so why would it interest them. 

If you are looking for a book that has twist and turns then this is not the book for you. But if you simply want a book that is easy to read but makes you think and wonder about life then you might want to try it out.